Made for you

Why hello there. You have been invading my dream space. Can you tell me why, please?

These past few weeks it has only been you. I wake up in the morning thinking, "What was that? Did that really happen?" Then, I always end up with a confused smile on my face. This would mean nothing for me if it is just a one-day dream or even for two days. But, Hello? Everyday? Isn't it weird? Or, is this your way of making me remember things that I should have done back then?

I didn't forget about that. I mean, seriously, I have had a major regret in my life that I know would linger in my nervous system forever because of you. You were the reason why I was full of what ifs back then. I am afraid that I would do the same mistake again.

You never knew why I didn't give what you have asked for. Well here it is. I was frightened. I was immature. I was a coward. I wasn't ready to face the staring faces of the people around us, most especially, her. I was scared of what the people might think of us.
YES. I was really that weak.

When "the thing" between us was over ( I do not know the exact term on what to call us) , I felt guilty. No, erase that. I felt more like I was being engulfed by my own decisions. That it was all my fault that things between us didn't work out. Bitterness swallowed a portion of me.

But hey! Time has passed. I have moved on but you'll always be a part of me. We're both okay now and that's what's important right? Everything that had happened would forever be remembered in a good way. I never had the chance to say these two words to you sincerely (my reply to your birthday greeting is an exception, of course!) since I didn't think that I needed to do that. But, now, let me say this whole heartedly. THANK YOU. You deserve that. : > Thank you for letting me feel that I am loved, for making me see and feel that I am special. Thank you for the experience you have given me. You have taught me a lot of things, directly and indirectly and these helped me a lot. These made me stronger. Thank you for all the memories.

After a long time, finally, I learned how to share this. It feels so good letting all of these out. This post would now serve as a formal closure for me. Maybe this is why you're bugging me in my dreams. I needed some reassurance for myself, i guess.

Till we meet again,

Patrice 

P.S. I haven't forgotten the "rude" thing that you did, but you are forgiven. HAHA.